Do you truly believe in yourself? Or are you just masking it? Do you have those positive thoughts and then immediately follow it with a negative? I did, and still do sometimes! I have always been tough on myself.
I never really thought I was good enough for money. I came from being poor living with my parents as a kid, to living with my grandparents and pretty much having everything I wanted and needed in middle school & high school, to being pretty poor again after that. Having a full time job, but barely making ends meet.
I promised myself years ago that I would never follow down the same path as my parents. I feel like your parents are there to teach you and guide you. Even though my parents didn’t really do that for me, I still learned. I learned from their mistakes. And you know what? That’s okay. I still know what I want from this life. Don’t get me wrong, I love them both so incredibly much. But they simply showed me what I didn’t want for my life.
I knew since I was young that I wanted to help people. I always thought I wanted to be a psychologist. Heck, I even started to go to school for it! But I realized fairly quickly that being a psychologist wasn’t my calling. I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I always knew that I had something special inside me. This power to influence and feel what others feel. I just didn’t know how to use that.
The more I have dove into personal development, the more I started figuring out my calling. I just want people to feel good & live their best lives. I want people to be genuinely happy and abundant. But I realized before I could help others I really needed to dig into myself and work on my demons.
My life hasn’t been crazy chaotic, I didn’t grow up in an utterly terrible home, I had 2 parents that did love me, I had two amazing grandparents that cared for me when things went south with my parents, I always had a roof over my head, I’ve always worked for what I have wanted, I have always had some kind of back up help if I truly needed it, I have never not eaten a meal because I couldn’t afford it. But there was always something that was just off about me in general.
I thank my grandma for the conversation we had at lunch today because it fully provoked this whole message. I was telling her that I always felt like.. I couldn’t connect with people. Like I was a black sheep. Like small talk wasn’t enough. I still to this day despise small talk. I find it utterly boring. I want to talk about the universe, traveling, the stars, the beautiful things we see each day, the cool things that happened to us today.. I am so terribly bad at small talk y’all.
I knew I needed to dive into why I felt like I couldn’t open up to people if that’s what I WANTED to do. I have always been pretty shy. Public speaking literally makes me want to throw up. It always has. I’m not sure what really sparked that. Maybe it was an experience I can’t remember from my childhood?
I have always had to write my ideas out before I could speak them. I’m not good on the spot. Whether it’s something I’m fully passionate about or not. These are all traits that I felt like people didn’t want. They didn’t want a leader who was scared to talk. They didn’t want a leader who tripped over their words. They didn’t want a leader who can’t get out a clear thought without first writing or typing it.
But truth be told.. that’s what you’re getting! I finally figured out that I can write and get all of my points across. That I can use my “voice” over typing and still be heard. I figured out that you people are here for ME. Not because I’m perfect, but because I have flaws.. just like each and every one of you. You can connect with me on a certain level because I am me.. and you are you. It’s truly amazing. Maybe it’s okay that I don’t always show up on Facebook live. Yes, I’m still working on it. I’m still working on me! But that’s okay! We live in a ever- changing world where we need to be constantly developing ourselves.
Don’t let your past control your future. It’s in the past for a reason. We live and learn! Those things people have told you.. or said about you.. that doesn’t matter. All that matters is what is in your heart and how you pursue it. So there is no reason in this world that you shouldn’t believe in yourself.. believe in your message. Everyone has a story to tell! So tell it! You may help one person or a million people. Either way, that’s a win! Either way, you’re good enough for whatever you desire in life! So follow your dreams, live your best life and thrive!